The BlaiRe BiTCH Project

Dapat hindi pa kita gusto.
Kasi kakakilala pa lang natin.
Dapat hindi pa ako na-eexcite ng ganito.
Kasi marami pa tayong dapat pag-usapan.
Dapat hindi, pero bakit parang Oo?
Gustong isipin na wala.
Pero nararamdaman kong meron.

Sana wala na lang.
Kaso meron, meron.

http://www.stanford.edu/group/dschool/

I can't describe what I'm feeling right now.

I just know that I am not in myself.

I feel things are not going my way.

But I still allow it to happen.

I am very confuse.

Confuse on the direction that I should take.

Confuse on the decision that I have to make.

I know I don't have any right to feel miserable.

But I just do.

-

=(

Where's Aristides Bejosano?

Joyce Miranda, based on the results of your free test, your personality type is...

ENTP (Extravert, Intuitive, Thinker, Perceiver)

People of this type tend to be: friendly, charming, and outgoing; quick-witted, energetic, and irreverent; ingenious, imaginative, and creative; curious, flexible, and unpredictable; logical and analytical. The most important thing to ENTPs is being creative, seeing possibilities, and always having new challenges.

 



 

Still in the office.
Will go home to work on another project.
yeba. suicide.

today i should be happy.

but i am not.

i should be working.

but i don't feel like working.

i shouldn't feel empty.

but i do.

i shouldn't feel lost.

but i think i am.

the weather shouldn't be this bad.

but it just did.

it feels like i lost control of my own emotions.

it seems like i lost track of my own life.

crazy world.

crazy me.

July 18, 2008, Friday, 8PM.

RA opened MD's door to submit her final report on one hand and her letter of resignation on another.

MD: Sige, tignan ko na muna 'to, then after irelease mo na 'to tonight.

RA: Ok Ma'am,

(MD reviewing final report)
(RA staring blankly outside the huge window of her MD's office, she looked tired and exhausted.)

MD: Ok na, irevise mo lang tong page na to, tapos pakita mo sakin then send mo na.

RA: Ma'am... (RA giving her letter)

MD: Oh, ano 'to?

RA: Ma'am...

MD: Hindi, hindi ko tatanggapin yan... In fact, I'm not even going to read it. May solution na ko sa problema mo, and I'll be hiring people to make things lighter for you... leaving MB is not the solution. Kung yan ang reaction mo because I extended your probation, sige permanent ka na ngayon. Hindi ko tatanggapin yan ok? Alam mo na na hindi ikaw ang problema, Kung tatanggapin ko man yan, sa September pa kita papayagan umalis. Sa ngayon hindi.

(RA was just speechless)

MD: So ayan hindi ko yan tatanggapin.

(RA failed to file her resignation)



*Note: Since RA is still on probation, her contract says that either party can give 2 weeks notice under such circumstance. RA will re-file her LOR and she will insist her 2 weeks notice... asap.

I am supposed to give this to my boss... but then... hay... hirap.

First, I would like to express my gratitude for the training that I received from you for the past four months. I learned the fundamentals of marketing research under your mentorship and I’m thankful that such opportunity came my way.

 

However, I feel that this working set-up is not for me. I have been trying my best to make all ends meet, juggling my time, energy, and attention from one project to another. In spite of the limited manpower against overwhelming workload (research, administrative, finance, and client servicing) I know I did my best, in fact, more than what is expected at my level as a Research Associate.

 

In general, I would say that the challenge of the work is fulfilling but it would have been more manageable and less painful if the current situation is similar to the time when I first came in, wherein I had an immediate superior who directed and guided me accordingly through my work course.

 

I have been contemplating for the past few weeks and I came to this decision to officially tender my resignation effective end of office hours of August 15. It saddens me to resort to this action but I also have to consider my over-all state of health in the long run given the present working set-up.

 

Rest assured that I will do my best to accomplish all my pending workloads by August 15.

 

Again, thank you very much for the fulfilling four months.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I might get fired.

Just making "mad" faces and raising tones to almost everybody.

Lack of time.

Lack of sleep.

Lack of energy.

Lots of skipped meals.

Endless discussions.

Tired.

Restless.

Unhealthy.

Resignation.
Farewell, Good bye.

Love...
Hate...
Love...
Hate...

LOVE.
HATE.
Research and I have a love and hate relationship.

bow.

I am lost in the world that I'm in.
Things are running too fast.
And I feel like I'm loosing my grip.

I think, this is the hardest phase of my career so far...
Physically, I'm deteriorating,
Mentally, I'm dying,
Emotionally, I'm breaking.

Life is hard.
But it shouldn't be this painful.

Happy Birthday to me! =)

I feel like crying.
Because I feel so alone.
Please don't steal my life.

 

pointless ( . )

This has been the lighest day that I ever had since I jumped in to the corporate whirlwind. 
 
How was it so far?

Hmmm... 

I like the work,

I like the people I work with,

But there's a but...

I stil can't figure out what that "but" is...

But there's a but.

12:43PM

Dialed 9818500 local 2678

Heard mama jenna and atty.mina's voices

Felt like home.

=)